Washington, DC, 2006.
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“Uncle Abe” and the Rebellious Boys.
When “Uncle Abe” took a four years lease of “Uncle Sam's Farm,” he found a host of rebellious boys on the trees stealing apples,
Seeing the injury they were doing, he most respectfully requested them to come down;
Upon hearing his solicitation, the saucy blockheads told him plainly they would not.
(Spoken: Wo'nt you, said “Uncle Abe?”—then I'll make you come down.)
So without taking off his white kid gloves, he commenced throwing at them a quantity of turf and grass;
This only made the rebels laugh, to think that “Uncle Abe” should pretend to frighten them down with grass only.
(Spoken: Well! well! confound you, said “Uncle Abe,” if neither words nor grass will do;)
I must try what virtue there is in stones.
So he has taken off his white kid gloves, and is going to pelt them hertily [heartily] with stones, until the rascals hasten down from the trees and beg the old man's pardon.
If mild words, and gentle means, fail to reclaim the wicked,
They must be dealt with in a more severe manner.