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 Tracy A. Sugarman to his wife, May 1, 1944

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with - but I'm happy on the shelf - ain't misbehaving - I'm saving my love for you [musical notes] --" and I *am* darling - I'm storing up happiness for two, Junie - and want only to have the chance to make you happy. I love you, darling - night, day, working, eating - my day is filled with you - and so often lately you're more than just an intangible loveliness I once knew - you're *there*, right beside me - your beauty, your voice, your very being that noone else in the world has touched - you're there, Junie. How dearly I know you - how complete is our interdependence. We're *one*, Junie - I'm half alive when we're apart. Hell darling - its not despair - you must believe that. Its not a frantic gnawing thing - its just a damnable insatiable appetite that was born of our love and nourished by our very closeness. I want you near - I want to watch you walk. I want your voice - whispering, endearing, beloved - I want your hand lost in mine, that very inseparability that was rooted in our hearts and our spirit - projected by two hands that were suddenly and completely one. I want your laugh, my snoon - rich, sunny, the child of a spirit that was attuned in perfect harmony with a happines born not from our minds alone - but that perfect brew of heart and body and mind. How happy can one be in the reflected radience of experience and memory? Warmed, yes - but tantalized by that compulsion to be yet nearer the fire. One dreams in the borrowed splendor of the moon -

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 Tracy A. Sugarman to his wife, May 1, 1944

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  October 26, 2011
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